Smiles' Crazy Blog

Watching this movie here reminded me of a video game that is probably the most famous vaporware ever. Duke Nukem Forever. Was I the only one who thought that? Probably.

I dream of destroying everyone.

No....I dream of destroying everyone who thinks that they can change themselves forever because of an emotional high. I will laugh histerically when you fall down.

I mean, no you deserve it.

With that being said, I don't know what I am saying at all. Call me and come over to my place and punch me you little piece of kaka.

Why is it that I am so bent on destruction and destroying. I have to be at work in less than 8 hours.

Declare your everlasting love for me.

It breaks if you don't force it. It breaks if you don't try.

Why is it that no one trys when it comes to me?

I don't care what it is you may want to compete in. I want to beat you in it, even if it is something that is not even close to competitive like, jumping off chairs, I want to compete against someone.

Also I know you are reading this.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA,HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....HAHA HA HA.

Thank you Mr. Estrada, and gringo.

So now onto my post.

Is there anything worse you can do on Valentine's Day than call it Single's Appreciation Day? No. It is one day all year that is solely devoted to "love". Sure people may get a little too weird on this day, but still give me a break, if it bugs you just ask them to stop. You don't have to be so selfish to think that just because you are single on a day like Valentine's, that everyone should focus on your situation. Perhaps that selfishness is the whole reason why you are alone. I mean on your birthday, you wouldn't feel good if someone said, I can't stand it is your birthday, so I am going to celebrate everybody's "Not Their Birthday" or as some would say "Unbirthday".

So really, let the couples have their fun. Then laugh as 87.198764971% of them und up not together a week from now. I made that stat up. Anyways, quit being selfish and just get over that you are single, and do something about it.

Anyways here is my Valentine's Day Not So Random 10:

1. Another Love Song - Queens Of The Stone Age
2. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
3. Love Song - 311
4. The Nurse Who Loved Me - A Perfect Circle
5. Just Like Heaven - The Cure
6. Falling - Ben Kweller
7. Sour Girl - Stone Temple Pilots
8. The Call Of Ktulu - Metallica
9. Southern Girl - Incubus
10. Under Waterfall - The Doors

So, all I have been able to think about for all idle moments over the past two months is one person. And that is over. How did I let and intelligent, talented, fun loving, and beautiful girl get away from me. Dang.

I really struggle with who I am. I realized that today, well actually a long time ago. I cannot define myself, and I would submit that others cannot either. Why is this, I do not know. I have a lot of different sides to me. While I do nothing that is contrary to my character, generally, I am different in almost every situation. Am I an introvert, or an extrovert. I don't know. There is a part of me that dies to be around people, and have their attention, but yet a side of me that would rather sit alone in my room, and just think about life in general. Either one I find fulfilling, and necessary for me. I like both and don't want either at the same time.

Also, I decided that I hate that I have a million nicknames. Nicknames are just someone's opinion of what I am to them. And thus when someone calls me by one, I feel obligated to be that way all the time. Thus they see the nickname, and not who I am.

There is something that I like about being called Andy. I like just being Andy. Its almost as if that person cares about who I am, more than what I look like I am. I think that is why I really liked having a girlfriend. Both girlfriends I have had, called me Andy. I felt as though they were really looking at me, and who I was. I loved that. I don't get that a lot. People looking at me, and me alone to see what kind of person I am.

Now, what I need to do is figure out who I am. Where to start, maybe I already have, but I have no idea what my next step is.

Is it just me or are birds the most suicidal animals ever. How many times have you seen a bird fly out in front of a car? A lot. How many times have you hit a bird? Me, once. I felt kind of bad, but then I just realized it was a stupid bird for flying out in front of me. I think this is how a bird thinks.

I am so depressed...I want to die...I am going to fly out in front of this car...I don't want to die, I must fly faster and upward...I am depressed I tried to kill myslef....

So really, birds are just weird. Definately the most depressed and suicidal animal ever.

Here is a poge out of Dave's book. What the? Its about Jermaine O'Neal saying that putting an age limit on the NBA draft is racist? I think it is stupid. But then again I could be wrong. So here is the article, tell me what you think.

I can't respond to my posts because I am getting this error:

Not Found
The requested URL /powweb-bin/php4/smiles/mtview3.php was not found on this server.

So I will resond here.

I think that it is the Church's job to help those who are poor and needy. I think it is a personal responsibility put upon Christians to do this. It is the Church's, and the Christians job to do this. It was a job given to the Christians, and thus it might also be the most effective means to evangelize. Of course when we pay taxes, and say that it is the governments job to take care of the poor and needy, then we make it the governments job to do it. And even though people are involved in helping the poor through the government, it is the government doing the work and the government sacrificing. I believe that this takes control of the job that the Church is supposed to do, and makes the Church flee from the job. Thus the Church and Christians are not sacrificing their own money to reach out to the lost and helpless in the world, but they are letting the government do it for them. Maybe that is why I am opposed to it.

I know I have talked about abortion before. More defenseless and innocent babies have died because of abortion, than in all the wars in American History combined. How do you think God feels about hands that shed innocent blood, Proverbs 6:16-19 of course maybe I am not following 19. When you talk about the lives of millions, yeah it is a big deal. I will agree that we need to let our faith determine our political decisions. Its just that I don't see the Church or Christians today doing what they are supposed to because they let the government do it all for them, and they think that just by going to church on sunday and paying their taxes they are doing a great work for God.

I will end this post by saying that the problem with the world is not poverty or disease or natural disasters or war. The real problem in the world is that people are sinful and lost. As a Christian it should be my first priority to evagelize according to the abilities and gifts God has given me. Maybe I need to do this better.

I think that one of these days I am going to understand myself and the things that I do. I mean like right now I am drinking coffee at 4:30 in the morning reading the same sites over and over again. Man, I have church in a few hours. I think that I will go to the first service, then teach sunday school, then come back and work. I have so much stuff to do. What you may ask, well easy, all of my classes on tuesday and wednesday have either something due, or a test. Woot. I am so excited to be me right now.

Anyways, I am awesome. I thought I would let all of you know that.

Well I need three meals a day. I hate being hungry in my morning classes. All I can do is think about how hungry I am. It is horrible. I just want to eat so badly in my classes that it is hard to concetrate. My head feels like it is going to explode and I am incredibly tired. Not eating breakfast is definately a bad thing for me. The other thing that makes it bad is that I need three meals a day, so guess who needs to pay for that. Oh yeah, me. That is probably the reason why I need to eat breakfast, so that I stop spending money on food. I love food. It is so delicious. So I buy a lot of it, and thust spend way too much money. The End.

Well I was thinking about this the other day. If I was in trouble and I needed someones help, who would I want to help me more, the A-Team or MacGyver. I mean they both help people, and they do a pretty dang good job of it. And they both had pretty awesome TV shows back in the day. So I decided to break down my decision. Here is how it goes:

Who The will Help

A-Team: Well they are soldiers of fortune. And I am pretty sure that they take the fortune part pretty seriously. I mean they have to live too right, and there are four of them. Plus you have to seek them out, because they are in hiding from the government. Of course if you do go to the right Chineese Laundry you can get in touch with them. So if you can find them, and give them the money, they will help you out.

MacGyver: MacGyver works for the Phoenix Foundation. So he gets most of his work through his job, and doing things like that. So you don't have to fork out the money to get his help. He gets paid through his job. The downside is that usually the stuff he did was mostly enviromental. So if you aren't a dolphin you might not get him.

Advantage: No one really has any advantage here, not everyone is an endangered animal or rich.

Attitude

A-Team: The A-Team has Mr. T. This man could be the toughest guy ever. He also will beat you up at the drop of a hat. He also beat up Rocky in Rocky 3. That right there is tough.

MacGyver: Reflecting on it now, I really think that MacGyver was kind of a pansy. He was always kind of reluctant to do anything, and he always relied on science to do the dirty work for him. It seemed like every episode he was ready to give up, until somebody whined him into helping. Of course he was very effective at that point, but still why would you want to work so hard at something.

Advantage: A-Team, sorry MacGyver, even if you weren't so wimpy you still wouldn't have a chance.

Innovation/Resoucefulness

A-Team: The A-Team always seemed pretty able to build a lot of eloborate traps, no matter where they were. The could always get the bad guys with their traps, and they would gty them to run right into their traps. That takes talent. Also on one episode, they turned a crutch into a machine gun, that was pretty cool.

MacGyver: Alright, no one beats MacGyver here. This guy can do more with Duct tape than anyone I know. I think he has made bombs out of that stuff. He is one smart resourceful guy. He seems to know how to take anything in a locked room, and use it to get out of the room. He is so good.

Advantage: MacGyver, but the A-Team does not slouch in this area.

Betrayal

A-Team: The A-Team was a crack commando unit, but they were charged for a crime they didn't commit. Thus from the beginning, they were betrayed by someone and now they must live life on the run. Of course they always seem to get away, even from their own execution.

MacGyver: It always seems someone he is working with is the bad guy. Someone always sets him up, and you are always guessing who it is going to be. Of course, do you really want one of your friends to betray the guy you want helping you. Cause you don't want to have to make new friends.

Advantage: A-Team, you know what you are getting into with them.

Guns

A-Team: The one thing you can always expect from the A-Team, is really bad accuracy. I mean, they always have their machine guns and other stuff, but man hit someone every now and again. I mean I don't expect you to be Robin Hood, but one ever 10 would be nice.

MacGyver: Macgyver never used guns, well sort of. There is a whole episode on why he didn't use guns, and it is kind of sad. But still sometimes you wish he would take the easy way out and shoot someone.

Advantage: None. Sometimes no gun is the same as no accuracy.

Vehicles

A-Team: These guys had the big black van with the orange stripe. Pretty stinking cool. I enjoyed it a whole lot. I think that they also lived there as wel.

MacGyver: Didn't MacGyver has a Suzuki? Or maybe it was a Jeep? I don't remember so it couldn't have been that cool.

Advantage: A-Team, cause I can remember and it shows that big black vans can be used by someone other than child molesters.

Living Quarters

A-Team: The A-Team has no place to call home. They are always on the run, and thus it would be a bad investment to buy a place to live. Also I think that they may live out of their van. That can't be that cool.

MacGyver: A house down by the river. Isn't that what everyone wants. Of course it doesn't seem like the safest place in the world, cause he always get unexpected visitors there.

Advantage: MacGyver, an unsafe house is better than no house.

Hair

A-Team: Everyone has pretty normal hair, except Mr. T, and he has a Mohawk. That is pretty sweet.

MacGyver: Mullet. This may be his downfall. A mullet. While certain rednecks think it is cool, it just isn't.

Advantage: A-Team, Mohawk beats mullet.

Show Cliches

A-team: "I pity the fool." Also a multitude of car flips. Those are sweet.

MacGyver: This guy is pretty awesome. He all he need is his duct tape and a swiss army knife. You can also expect some type of a bomb. Bombs are neat. I mean, it would be illegal to make bombs, so don't.

Advantage: Push. Everytime I add it up, both equal sweetness.

Time Slot

A-Team: I remember spending many a Saturday afternoon watching the A-Team. Of course is there a worse time slot than saturday afternoon?

MacGyver: Prime Time. This guy got Primetime.

Advantage: MacGyver. Primetime just can't be beat.

Anyways in the end I think I would pick the A-Team. I think that they would do the best at helping me out. No disrespect to MacGyver, but the A-Team wins.

Well, this is my first post in a week. I don't even understand why I can't hink of anythink to post anymore. I have lost my creativity. I don't know why. Perhaps I am frustrated. In fact I think that is it. I am frustrated with a lot of things. I am frustrated with girls, I have no idea what they think or why they do things. I am frustrated that I don't really have a friend that I can just hang around all the time, and have it be cool. I am frustrated with the way that I use my time. I could be so much more productive, but I am not. I am frustrated that I cannot compete in anything physical. I am frustrated that I feel like I can't get close to people at all. I am frustrated that I am scared of people. I just feel so desperate right now. I can't stand it.

Today I remembered of something that a girl said to me and my friends. In essence she said the we would never get a date because we were such guys. I think we were in the gym or something playing basketball, and talking about sports. Something like that. It made me think of what girls really want in a guy. First they want a guy who will watch Trading Spaces with them every time it is on, and even change the channel for them to watch it. Now I have no problem with watching Trading Spaces, but when I am at the television first, watching sportscenter or football or basketball, I do not want to end up watching a fat lady who needs to work out complain about her house, then have to work on someone elses house, then scream "Oh my god, I love it" four bagillion times and say they absolutely love the new room. When really they should have just gotten off of their lazy butts and did the work themselves. So Trading Spaces is not worth switching too during Sportscenter.

Of course if they do win, and you end up watching TS, then the next thing they will want to watch is A Makeover story. This is the basically the same thing except instead of taking an ugly room, they take an average looking girl who dresses bad, call her ugly and then give her a haircut and better clothes and some advice on putting on makeup, and then you have a beautiful woman, until she can't afford to buy the expensive clothes and makeup anymore, then she goes back to looking like she did. Thus if you are a real guy, you know this show is hokie, and will not watch it, but there goes your chances for a date apparantly with any girl.

Of course some guys can stand a makeover story, but this next trap, if you fall into it, there is only one definition of what you are, and that is a woman. You have completely lost your manhood, but you can date any girl you feel like. It is the trap of these three shows, "A Dating Story", "A Wedding Story", "A Baby Story", wow I feel like less of a man typing it. Watching these three shows fits under the not so suttle hints of what the girl wants. If you change the channel from Sportscenter to watch these three show, please casterate yourself, then hand them over in a jar, and say these are yours now. You are not a guy, you are a woman and thus she will date you, but you have lost the meaning of what it is to be a man. Goodness, girls do not even know what they want, that is why they date pansies, so watch out, and stand up for yourselves men, and make the women change. Then we win and not them.

In conclusion, I am not going to have a date for a long time, because I watch Sportscenter and not trading spaces.

I have determined that that the difference between a civilized person and being a barbarian is two pieces of bread.

The other day I was eating lunch, and I had some grilled chicken. Of course this is all I had, cause I didn't plan enough time to make my lunch, so I grabbed the previous nights dinner. Of course I had planned to do this, but I was planning on making a sandwich out of it. I didn't notice it much at first, but after thinking about it, I realized, just eating it with my hands, means I am eating like a barbaric Caveman. Its horrible. Then I realized the way I get out of this is by taking the time to get two pieces of bread, and maybe even some mayonase. Then I am perfect. I am a civilized person.

Here are some illustrations:

Ok, this is weird. Today I got the Oriental Trading catalog, and I got excited. That is one of the first signs that you are turning int a childrens minister. Yes a whole bunch of cheap, easy, and cheesy crafts all ready for you to buy. Of course I am also just a big dork as well, so guess what caught my eye. VINYL NINJA WARRIORS!!!! That is right, I can get 1 and 1 half inch vinyl ninja warriors for 3.95 plus shipping. Think of all the great things that I would be able to do with something like that. I could fight with them, me and all my friends could have some kind of a tournament you know, or I could decorate my room with them, you know cool stuff that a dork like me would enjoy. I know, I love being a dork. Anyways, I am thinking of getting some, just to say that I am the proud owner of 4 dozen vinyl ninja warriors.

I am such a dork.

Is it just me or are these things quite possible the best Easter candy out there. I love these things so much, I am about to go to wal-mart right now and buy them. Who else agrees with me???

Why do I always have a song stuck in my head? I don't get it. I really have no musical talent whatsoever. I find it interesting that I walk to class every day, and something is in my head. I just want to know why. It really makes me want to learn how to play the guitar or piano or something. I guess if there were some songs that make me want to learn to play the guitar these would be them: Over The Hills and Far Away by Led Zeppelin, Far Behind by Candle Box, and Take A Picture by Filter. There really is only one song that makes me want to learn to play the piano, and that is In Other Words by Ben Kweller. That is just some ambition that I have though. Maybe some day I will learn to play either the guitar or the piano.