I am Kyle's self-indulgence

There are a lot of things to love about our local TV station's news website: the spelling and grammar mistakes, the charmingly mundane stories, and the aneurism-inducing reader comments.

But my favorite is the News RoundUp. This regular feature highlights and summarizes the most newsworthy items of the day. The thing is, though, that the writers feel the need to capture the essence of each story in just a few words, and then to combine the three, separated by commas, within the headline. Usually this results in something like, RoundUp: Iowans and credit, Rathbun Lake tour & health care. But occasionally the news items are worded in such a way that their juxtaposition results in some unintended meaning. These are always a delightful surprise.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Proving you're a citizen, forgery & a new high school
With a couple of punctuation changes, this could be the title of a fantastic weekend seminar.

Worker accused of having sex, yoga & Tasers
I'd like to know what kind of job that worker was hired to do.

Ignoring laws, lightning causes house fire & shorter school year
Something must be done about this lightning's utter disregard for our society's laws and our school schedule.