I am Kyle's self-indulgence

Daniel has never been much of a music fan. From the time he could talk, he would respond to Erika’s and my singing with, “No, no no.” When he got older and more articulate he elaborated with “I don’t like your song.” This went for children’s music we were actively trying to get him to learn or just music that I play in the background when we’re at home.

This was disappointing to me because I listen to music all the time. I love seeking out new artists that are original and exciting, and one of the things I’ve looked forward to with having kids is enjoying music with them. I have secretly dreamed of the day when Daniel or Eva would come to love something utterly cool like The Flaming Lips or Sufjan Stevens.

That day finally came this past spring.

I had just downloaded the latest Micah P. Hinson album and was listening to it for the first time on the way to school. From the backseat Daniel said, “I like this song.” Sometime later we were at home and I was playing the same album. Daniel again declared, “I like this song,” and added, “What song is this?” The title was “Seven Horses Seen Or Through The Hours, Still Comes Another Day” -- a particularly cumbersome title for a four-year-old, so I shortened it to just Seven Horses Seen.

From that day afterward, anytime I began playing my iPod Daniel said, "I want Seven Horses Seen." Sometimes I told him I wanted to hear something else, but sometimes I would relent. And as we listened to it repeatedly I realized that this really is a great song--perhaps the best on the album. It begins with slow, mournful strings, and features a captivating melody sung in Hinson’s gruff baritone.

At this point I need to explain that I am not a lyrics guy. When I listen to music I pay attention to the melody, instrumentation, and other sound features, and really pay little attention to the actual words being sung. On more than one occasion I have embarrassed myself by declaring, “This is such a nice song,” only to have Erika give me a weird look and say, “You know it’s about suicide, right?”

I say this because I had already listened to Seven Horses Seen a number of times with Daniel before I decided that maybe I should pay attention to the words and make sure it’s appropriate for him. As luck would have it, the very first lines of the song are, “Hey little boy, don’t you be afraid. Your father doesn’t love you and he's made your mom a maid.” After that it gets even more depressing.

By this time, though, Daniel had already established that this is his favorite song, the only song he requests by name, and, like I said, it’s a pretty great song. Besides, it might be that Daniel didn’t pay attention to the words any more than I did. He may like the sound of it, but have no idea about its depressing message.

We were driving to my mom’s house for the 4th July. Daniel was getting impatient on the home stretch, so I decided to turn on Seven Horses Seen for him. After first few bars, Daniel pointed out to us, “He says, ‘Your father doesn’t love you.’” Erika shot me a look. “So much for him not listening to the lyrics, huh?” To make things worse, when we got to my mom’s house he repeated the line for her as well, and a few more times over the weekend.

So I decided then that we’re just going to have to be done with that song. More significantly, I think this marks a big change in the way we listen to music in our house. Up to this point I’ve felt free to play pretty much whatever I want. Sure, I stay away from things that are obviously inappropriate like Outkast or Ween, but pretty much everything else I’ve been able to play around the house without any consideration of the lyrical content. Now, though, when I listen to music I’m going to have to be much more conscious of the words being sung and make decisions about whether or not that’s the kind of thing I want to hear coming out of my children’s mouths.