I am Kyle's self-indulgence

This is a post inspired by the 10 weird things I do post by Lonnie aka PHSChemGuy.

I have to warn you: the first two are so weird that I don't normally tell people. If you want a glimpse into my strangest habits, read on.

1. I use numbers I see to play a bizarre number game in my head. I started doing this about grade school or junior high when I would walk home from school. To entertain myself I would take each house number I walked past and add, subtract, multiply, and divide the numbers to try to come up with zero. When that became too simple I started using exponents as well and made it my goal to generate strings of numbers that can then be recombined and repeated without end. Weird, I know. This little mind game actually turned out to be pretty useful because it helped me to remember addresses and phone numbers. I still do it to this day, although I think about it so much less that it's almost become a subconscious act.

2. I mentally rearrange letters in words to conform to patterns on the keyboard. This is kind of like number one in that it is a mind game for my own amusement that I don't really share with people for fear of being thought weird. I think it started when I learned how to type and I began typing letters in my head. Again, that didn't entertain me for long so I created a set of configurations on the keyboard where each finger is used in order from left to right, striking keys in alternating rows, as in awcftnji, zwdvthmil, etc. Sometimes when I am struck by a particularly interested word I see how many of its letters align with one of these patterns. If I find one that fits well, it gives me a secret nerdy thrill.

3. I put off shaving as long as possible. I'm not sure if this is really weird so much as lazy. I just don't like to shave, so I let my facial hair grow until it becomes completely unsightly, and then I shave it off. This is usually three or four days. If I'm feeling particularly lazy or stressed out I'll let it go a week. Trying to shave at this point is very painful, so I may just shave the sides of my face and let my goatee grow. This usually lasts only a month or so, at which time I shave it all off.

4. I am a completionist. Okay, so this is probably not that unusual, but Lonnie included it on his list so I figure I can too. When I decide I like a musician or a writer I begin to collect all of that person's works, beginning with the most readily available, and gradually moving to the nearly impossible to find. The Internet has made this much easier so that if I decide I want to hear a basement recording made by Beck in 1992 of which only one copy was made, all I need is a computer and a fast connection. In this way I have been able to acquire every available recording by Beck, The Flaming Lips, Radiohead, and Sufjan Stevens, plus everything written by Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman.

5. I refuse to carry a cell phone. This probably arose at first from my general disdain for telephones. I don't like the idea of an invention that allows anyone to interrupt me in my home at any time--why would I want to carry such an awful device around with me? If I'm honest, though, I have to admit that it has become an issue of personal pride. As cell phones become more commonplace, I become more special in my refusal to carry one.

6. I meticulously organize my computer desktop, but let my physical desktop be completely messy. Don't ask me why. For some reason creating order on my computer is intrinsically rewarding and I will spend time organizing it that is totally disproportionate to whatever time I save when looking for a file later. Of course, this is another reason I love Google Documents so much.

7. I make up songs to sing to my son and my dogs. I blame my wife. I don't think I ever did this before we were married, but now we create songs for everything: making dinner, giving Daniel a bath, getting in the car, or just to be silly.

8. I watch every special feature on every DVD I own. Although I do enjoy behind-the-scenes documentaries and director's commentaries I suspect this has more to do with the idea of completeness again. It bothers me to think there could be some valuable information that I am missing out on.

9. I carry a book with me everywhere I go. Okay, I know this may not sound that unusual. But when I say I carry a book everywhere, I mean everywhere: the bathroom, the backyard, the dentist's office. If I'm going to wait somewhere for ten minutes I will make sure I have something to read. I think I have fostered in myself a need to be entertained at all times, and I get bored if I don't have anything to do or read for even short periods of time.

10. I eat french fries two at a time. I have no idea where this comes from, but my wife and I both do it. Maybe I picked it up from her. When we eat french fries we put exactly two in our mouth at a time. Erika even goes so far as to pick two fries that are similar in size, but I'm not that picky.