Stephanie and Somebody

I don't really have anything to write about tonight, but sometimes I just get to that point where I haven't written in awhile and I feel like I should. That normally happens about once every two months. Perhaps more accurately, it happens every week or so, but not with strong enough umpph to get me to sit down.

Tonight I happened to find myself sitting at the computer because Stephanie is writing a paper and our internet connection was not working. So here are some random things.

1. I went to the National Youth Workers Convention in Anaheim over the weekend with six students and one teacher from my school. I even got to miss two days of school, but now I am behind, so every rose has its thorn. The conference was good.

2. The other teacher bought a book of "Would you rather..." questions to use in her classes and ministry activities, which presents a different kind of road to salvation starting with "would you rather eat cat food or dog food?" and ending with "would you rather go to heaven or hell?" That is followed by a new version of the sinner's prayer: "Jesus, would you rather forgive me or see me burn?" Well, actually, only the pet food question is in the book, but I have drafted a letter to the publisher about including the others in the inevitable second edition.

2.5. This is not a separate story, but felt like it should be in another paragraph. We stayed up until about two in the morning one night going through this book and laughing and talking. We got to one of the questions that went something like this: "Would you rather fall from a ten story building and live, or be hit by a car going sixty miles an hour and live?" A good question, and one that I, eerily, have had presented to me in real life. One of the students, a quieter kid, pondered the question intently and decided to clarify before he committed to one course or the other. He asked very earnestly and with great concern if the falling option could conclude in landing on a bounce house, in which case that would be his choice. We laughed pretty hard. And then he told us to kindly answer the question.

3. I went to a seminar on prayer exercises, and the lady leading it showed up in a leotard and leg warmers. I said a leotard and leg warmers. (She didn't think that one was funny, either.) One of the exercises was to pray through a scripture and then respond by drawing or writing something reflective of your prayer. I tried this as best I could, but in the end was glad they asked us to come tape them to the front wall, since I had no intention of keeping the piece of paper but couldn't throw away a prayer. I figured, let it be on their heads.

3.5. (Let the reader understand.) So I write on the paper my deepest darkest sins and tape it to the front wall, but then find out that the confession prayer and the art project prayer are not, in fact, one and the same. So I take that one down and put up another one that becomes the world premier of the "would you rather..." sinner's prayer. On my way back to my seat I hear someone say my name, and I look up and see Katie and say hello to her in a way that says, "We're supposed to be quiet now," before I realize that this is not Katie Trettel. It is Katie Schaffer, and I ask her what happened to sweet K-Trett, as they say on the streets, and she points to a guy on the floor drawing a picture of his hand, which at any other time would be a sure sign of mental retardation, but at that moment I was wowed by his piety and shocked at his leg warmers. I said his leg warmers.

4. This conference had something like 3,500 people there, and I was lucky enough to get hugs from several friends I had not seen in years, K-Trett included.

5. At one point, one of my students asked me where I grew up, so I mentioned KCMO and she replied that now she understood me since she could see that I had grown up sheltered. I pointed out, never more proudly, that St. Louis was just named the most dangerous city in America, and if that wasn't enough, that the nickname on the streets for my hometown is KCMO-FO. Luckily, she did not ask exactly what street these nicknames are coming from.

6. The David Crowder Band led worship for about half of the sessions and did an amazing job. I had not heard much of their music until this year, so I was thoroughly impressed with the job they did and have committed to listening to them daily, which is more than I committed after coming out of the prayer seminar. I blame that on the K-Trett distraction, or the instructor, or anything but my lack of discipline. Anyway, I remembered today that David Crowder had posted a long time ago on Sara's "Top Five Worst Worship Songs" post, so I went to see what he wrote. I read many of the entries there, especially the early ones since they are the best, funnniest, and most genuine, and even called in co-workers to make them listen to how funny my friends are. I miss my friends.