brendoman.com

Archives for: February 2008, 27

Stuff White People Like

I found this blog through Honzo. It's full of vicious satire that makes me feel small and shallow. Here are a few posts that were especially hard to take:

#18 Awareness

An interesting fact about white people is that they firmly believe that all of the world’s problems can be solved through "awareness." Meaning the process of making other people aware of problems, and then magically someone else like the government will fix it.

#25 David Sedaris

White people universally love David Sedaris. So if they ever ask you “who are you favorite authors?” you should always reply “David Sedaris.” They will instantly launch into a story about how much they love his work, and the conversation will go from there, and you don’t have to talk about books any more.


#28 Not Having A TV

The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV.

#41 Indie Music

They are always on the look out for the latest hot band that no one has heard of so that one day, they can hit it just right and be into a band BEFORE they are featured in an Apple commercial. To a white person, being a fan of a band before they get popular is one of the most important things they can do with their life. They can hold it over their friends forever!

#44 Public Radio

White people love stations like NPR (which is equivalent to listening to cardboard), and they love shows like This American Life and Democracy Now. This confuses immigrants from the third world. The see the need for radio as a source for sports, top 40 radio and traffic reports but they don’t quite understand why people who can afford TVs and have access to Youtube, would spend hours listening to the opinions of overeducated arts majors.

#64 Recycling

Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much.

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada

Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly similar to the one they live in now.

Ouch.

posted by Kyle | 02/27/08| 11:34:28 am| Linkage| 9 comments »


Mortgage Calculator | Satellite TV | Car Loan | Unsecured Loans | Personal Loans