McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise

3. Bald Bull from Mike Tyson's Punch Out, DH

While not the greatest conversationalist, the mad man from Istanbul oozes with intimidation. Much like Manny, Barry, or the Big Hurt in his heyday, the powerful giant causes everyone in the ballpark to stop what they're doing when his name is announced. Sometimes the pitchers wait out the holes in his swing and send him to the bench. Other times he cranks out a 600-foot home run. But the real reward is watching him after a brush-back pitch: Bull starts his "Bull Charge" like a rock in a slingshot, and charges ahead, pouncing the pitcher with a bald-headed assault of thunderous uppercuts.

Sid Ganis: "Let's All Go to the Movies!"

Yeah, I'm still mad about Sid Ganis' asinine comments at the Oscars about DVDs and the virtue of seeing movies in the theater.

Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences president Sid Ganis praised the virtues of watching a story play out in a darkened theater with strangers.

Yes. Stangers who are 9 times out of 10 complete jerks. No freaking thank you. I do plan on seeing V For Vendetta next week though, so I guess I am a sucker.

Editors Note: For some freaking reason b2e isn't letting me link to the V for Vendetta site. I have no idea why. It's vforvendetta.warnerbros.com, in case you were wondering.

Link: http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/