I’m feeling a little introspective tonight…we’ll see where this goes. I’ve been thinking a lot about my character lately—where I’ve come from, what examples of good humans surround me (and have been around me in the past) and about what I’ve done with what I know. I think it all boils down to my reaction to the playground injustice. (You know the story—you are on the playground, minding your own business, some idiot does something stupid and then, there you are, up against the wall for the rest of recess because the teacher decided to punish collectively.)There are two types of people in this world: one type accepts this punishment calmly, realizing that, at one time or another, he or she probably caused an incident resulting in recess grounding and that this is some sort of payback method; the other type screams ‘unfair’ and proceeds to tell the whole story, every minute detail, in order to escape punishment or to somehow render the whole world right again. I’ll let you guess which type I am. (Hint: it’s not the first one.)

If you still don’t have a clue, here’s some more evidence:

I can be a femi-nazi. I get worked up over the most inane things if they are even remotely sexist.

I’m angry. I’ve been working on this for at least 10 years, and it seems to get worse. I just need the emotional release I get from yelling or something. Unfortunately, I always seem to let it go around others.

At least once a week I want to completely submerge myself in a television drama (usually 2 or 3 episodes—thank you TBS—last summer it was Dawson’s; this summer it’s Ed) so that I don’t have to think about how much I suck. Or how much other people suck. Or how little of anything makes sense.

And that’s just three—I think if I thought of more I might have to watch TV all night.

I guess the point is that I think I am stuck in perpetual playground mode, and I’m the little girl everyone loves to hate—the tattletale. What more is a tattletale than someone who thinks her existence is more important than anyone else? The crazy thing is that I’m working so hard to perpetuate an existence for a person that I don’t even like.

By the way, this is Sara, not Danny. Please don’t call him tomorrow and ask if he needs to go to the nuthouse. As for me…you all have come to expect this by now.

One of the biggest obstacles between me and a job in youth ministry so far has surprisingly been the fact that I am not married. Two different churches, after being impressed by my resume, have asked me if I am married, and after my reply of no, have not called me back since. Some say that the reason for this is because single youth ministers are more likely to engage in "inappropriate relations" with students. Yeah, because married folks have never done that. Ever. A legitimate concern brought up to me the other day was that they wanted a youth minister with a wife so that the wife could be a leader for the female students. So basically they want two ministers for the price of one. I would have no problems finding a female volunteer leader. It actually would be a top priority. So far this hasn't really impressed a church selection committee.

So let's look at one of the best examples we have of a solid leader in the Bible. Paul. The guy was single. He ministered to both men and women, and he did a heck of a good job of it. But churches these days don't seem to care about that and probably would have sent Paul home with his resume and writings between his legs. Bah.

Okay, I mean it this time. I'm relaunching the brendoman.com podcast. For reals. If you want to do a segment or whatever, send it to my gmail account (brendoman). Also, maybe we can get skpe going if anyone's up for it. I'm totally open to any and all ideas. I've seriously missed doing the podcasts so I'm looking forward to starting up again.

Japan unveils "robot suit" that enhances human power - Yahoo! News

With this thing, I seriously don't think we're too far away from Aliens style Power Loaders. Sure, they say now it's to help old people, but you know what they really have on their minds: building a race of superhuman robot overlords. Yeah.

Schwarzenegger is podcasting from Guardian Unlimited: Onlineblog

Wow. Even the Governator has a podcast.

Best Seller Series: Starcraft

I didn't really have anything better to do than drive out to Irvine to see this movie on Sunday, so I did, based on some really good reviews from critics I know and love.

Mysterious Skin stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, whom I recognize as the little kid, George, who was DJ's friend on Roseanne, but most of you will know him as the kid on 3rd Rock from the Sun. Well, J G-L has certainly moved into more serious subject matter with this movie, which tells the story of two boys who were molested by their baseball coach at the age of eight. We see them at eight, and then at around age 19. One of the boys remembers what happened to him, and the other doesn't. As we see where each boy ends up in his life, we see the terrible effects molestation can make on the development of a human being.

What's interesting is that the one kid who remembers what happened to him (J G-L) knew he was gay at the time of the molestation, but the molestation still affects him negatively because it leads him down a path of prostitution. The other kid (Brady Corbett) who doesn't remember, is affected by random nosebleeds, passing out, and skewed memories that make him think he was abducted by aliens; he is also very stunted in his emotional and sexual development, seemingly still an eight-year-old boy in maturity even when he is going to college.

These are all interesting ideas (one remembering, one not, one already gay, odd flashbacks being morphed into alien abduction memories, etc.), which is what I admired in the movie. It was a very unflinching look at the themes--which is why it's NR although the theatre carded me and said it was NC-17--and it's definitely one you wouldn't want to catch on a date or with mom. Actually, I'm not sure I could confidently recommend it to anyone since it's got quite a few s exual scenes (although not extremely graphic in nature, just uncomfortable).

The aspect of the movie I didn't enjoy was a kind of lack of authenticity some of the characters had. G-L's effeminate friend is always changing hair colors and wearing black lipstick--it's like he's a cross between Rickie from My So-Called Life and a wannabe goth. They show one scene in his room, where he is playing some music, but he just felt like a little stereotype of some sort of pop-goth-gay guy. Michelle Trachtenburg (you might recognize her as the Ice Princess), as well, is a friend who dresses oddly for no apparent reason. I mean, most people dress like little rockers because they're associated with some sort of scene, but here it just seems to happen for the heck of it, to look cool. That kind of bothered me. However this is a small complaint and overall I was actually happy to see that the Ice Princess branched out to some pretty hefty movie material.

Overall I admired Mysterious Skin for the themes it explored, with decent acting (actually very good stuff from Brady Corbett), and some touching moments. It definitely left me feeling uncomfortable, which is probably how I should feel while watching some of the content, but I'm glad I saw it.

This is a neat communal art project, in which people anonymously send in homemade postcards, bearing their most guarded secrets. Take the time to look through all of them. It's worth it.

So... mom's in surgery as of 2 minutes ago. They're poking 4 holes in her, removing the galbladder, sewing her up, and discharging her. It's almost like a drive-thru these days!

I love Alec Guiness. I love how calm and dignified he comes across in this movie.

Quick storyline: British prisoners of war go about building a bridge for their captors. It's on a tight deadline, but they do a good job of it to show the quality of British work. Meanwhile, an American working with European military forces is set on a mission to destroy the same bridge as soon as it is built.

Ric thinks this movie is slow, but for some reason, even though it's nearly three hours, I thought it went by quickly and enjoyably. I like that the struggles seen in the movie have more to do with integrity and principles than fighting scenes or special effects. The dynamics between the captors and captives are perfect.

Definitely a classic..

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic